Seasons Greetings short list of dear friends, freaks, et al.

Seasons Greetings short list of dear friends, freaks, et al.:

Here we are, living and alive through the 1-2 am hour of December 10th, 2018—the

only December 10th, 2018 EVERER!!!

By “we,” I always refer to “me” in a joking attempt to elicit the image of an antisocial

individual who simulates concord with others by splitting his personality into a cast

of characters for company. Either through my own misdeeds or native social

ineptitude (well-documented self-absorption), I have found that maintaining lasting

relationships with others to be difficult. Conversely, I seem to do well in fleeting

encounters limited to a few minutes in length. For example, I seem to flourish at

making banter with customers who come through my lane at the grocery store.

Having lived with me for 45 years (as I have), this does not come as a shock. I have

always excelled at charming people in the moment, while less apt at possessing

vibrant simpatico over the long haul.

Working two jobs now—nights shipping at ACME Warehouse; days cashiering at

ACME Grocery. The challenge to show up to my blue-collar jobs, and give them my due

diligence has proven quite doable. My attendance at both jobs is impeccable. But

housekeeping in recent months, I have to admit, has suffered. I simply lack the time

and energy to vacuum, mop stupid floors, or dust off the shelves and wooden furniture

arms. The interior of my home is in shambles. That said, at least I am able to pay my bills and keep two cable subscriptions going (as if such extravagance is justified 
by my politically incorrect and hardly bulging, Kikkerland Lucky Beggar wallet won 
on eBay nearly five years ago).

My cats are all still with me. Although, I am constantly aware, especially since my

mom’s passing in September, 2016, that this will not always be the case. For this reason, 

I am keen to savor every moment with them, as my time with them is nothing short 

of a damn miracle! Furthermore, so are all instances of love toward all conscious beings. 

This outlook has made it difficult, but not yet impossible, to continue punching in

codes for meat products in the break room machines at work. I usually just go for

small bags of Cheezits until I get home in the morning. But every once in awhile, I

still go for the frozen egg, ham and cheese burrito because tired and hungry and

can’t think.

I finally opened up to the possibility of liking girls again. There are a couple women

around who I fancy—even if they are out of reach, inappropriate for me, or

incompatible for one reason or another. For now, feeling that spark of attraction

again feels nice and I’m going with it. Whether romance is sparked from it or not 

is not that important to me at the moment. I also still revel in the tickly feeling of

being around young, attractive ladies who appreciate my attempts at humoring

them, and whose outward responses indicate as much. What a relief to be around

people as simple as me—whose expressions actually align with their internal

sentiments, rather than contradict or mask them. New York, I’m talking to you, you

neurotic, class-conscious, ambitious in the wrong way poker face.

(REDACTED) ...Another angle floating in my head is that New York, as much as 

I am unable to convey my deep attachment to it, may not be a suitable backyard 

for me in this current life stage. Lastly, no one, including me, knows what the future holds. 

Maybe giving up my pretentious, high-falootin’, New Yorker status today, means 

preserving a shot at returning ten years down the road, as a wiser and less compulsive 

man in his sixth decade on the planet? Will New York still be attractive to me then? 

(Almost certainly, it will be.)

Happy Holidays to you and those important to you! May all your wishes be at least

partially filled, and not smashed into oblivion by some random sadist who

anonymously trolls your stoop unprovoked and unannounced, warm and bright. 

Is that how the saying goes?

Ryan, Buddy, Lafayette, and Myrtle (definitely in that order) 

(Edited)

061309

Had a walking date with Bianca last saturday at 11 am...exactly a week ago. We hoofed from the same coffee place in Bed-Stuy all the way to the promenade in Brooklyn Heights. She impressed me with her talk and walk. I bought her a Strawberries n Creme from Starbucks. She's only 20 yrs old...can't even legally buy alcohol. Beautiful, wealthy, religious, conservative, young...equals "I wish."

MLB.com called me back in to do some editing work this week. I don't think i fared well. But if they call again, i'll go back. Sporadic employment from them is acceptable for me and i hope for them. The one thing i noticed this week for the first time was the smell of the weekday, morning train. It's different from any other time. Moisturizer, makeup, bathroom products linger throughout each cramped chassis as commuters follow its Manhattan bound course.

Fulton St. BID/ Bianca

Today, i shot with Brian Vines. We covered the story of the BID (Business Improvement District) that has already passed the vote for Fulton St. The BID is somewhat controversial because some say it's just another imposed tax on business owners set up along Fulton St. between Classon and Rockwell Place. Others welcome it's offerings such as its address to safety concerns, sanitation, and marketing for the businesses within its domain. We got some nice beauty shots for B Roll...my signature long shots--or "compression" shots down the barrel of Fulton with various strata of street life all compacted into neat vertical layers within the frame. Whenever the reporter/producer allows me to 'go get' my shots without breathing down my neck over every one, i remember why i chose to be a cameraperson.

But the shoot was highlighted by the chance meeting of a girl patron of a cafe called Michael Allen, where we shot an interview of the owner for his view of the Fulton St. BID. Initially, i just asked her if i could shoot her sitting with her laptop for store B Roll. My circulation had already quickened. I was immediately attracted to her. She obliged happily. Her smile was sincere and inviting. We made small talk, then Brian and i left for the next venue in the story.

I was kicking myself as I drove the BCAT van up to another part of Fulton St.--for not asking her for her number. The way she kept smiling while seeming open to me, I realized i had a real shot at a coffee date with her. Regret had a pitbull grip on my coward ass. Brian appeased me. He said we needed to go back down toward the cafe anyway to get another interview with a different business owner close-by. He assured me, she was still at the cafe and i would be able to make-up for my bygone opportunity and close the deal. I didn't share his confidence--certain that some opportunities only came once.

I drove us back down...passed the cafe. I instructed Brian to keep an eye on the front window of the cafe where she sat about an hour before. Visible to both of us, she was now standing outside on the sidewalk talking on her cell phone. "She's still there!" Brian exclaimed. "See, i told you. Now you can finish what you started."

After we got our next interview, we returned to the cafe where she was sitting again in the same spot where i shot her earlier in the day. I rested the camera on the floor and approached her. She smiled again--the same welcoming smile as before. I asked her if she knew anyone in Brooklyn besides her aunt, who she told me earlier she was living with over the summer between semesters at American U in Washington D.C. She shook her head. "I don't know anyone." It was an obvious open door for me to ask her out. So that's what i did. I got her digits and made everything all better and shook that awful regret and it's firm grip on my ass, which no longer belonged to a coward. Whew.

Her name is Bianca. I hope this to be a long, hot, Bianca summer...

The Times Part 4

Susan and i made a trip from BK to Manhattan today. Nice trip overall. But there's more. Isn't there always? So, i followed her lead to Pearl Art Supplies. She bought some Mylar for future cel-art. She was warned by the floor clerk dude with the beret, "those are heavy metals you know...they are highly toxic." I thought, yeah, so? Then i looked over to Susan, who was testing them out by brushing a little bit of each one onto the anterior part of her thumb. Arggh--glad i didn't say anything.

A few minutes later, as the clerk behind the register rang up her few purchases, the same guy reprimanded me as he made his way across the floor toward then passed me. "Please don't lean against that." I was not really leaning against the swatch display. I was just sort of fake-resting against it, but without putting any weight on it. I adjusted my position to the surly man's satisfaction. He and i made direct eye contact--the silent confrontational kind. I kept stoic. I didn't like him. He didn't like me. He was in a foul mood. I was grumpy. It was a moment made for Hallmark Greetings to positively ignore or pretend never happened.

As Susan and i marched up Broadway, we noticed a lot of stores--the big chains have been closing some of their individual stores--a rash of vacant properties where major franchises once occupied. They sort of rested there for many years, before some surly floor clerk asked them to move. National Wholesale Liquidators, Pottery Barn, Kenneth Cole, Virgin Megastore, Circuit City, Starbucks, Kim's Video--all have had one or more of their stores in NYC close in the past 4 or 5 months. If one were to look back over the past 18 months, one could add Barnes and Noble at Broadway and 9th st. to the list. Since i moved to NYC in late 97, Tower Records, HMV, Nobody Beats The Wiz, and finally Virgin Megastore have all packed up shop completely and headed out of here...no brick and mortar music chain outlets period. If you want to purchase music the old fashioned way--off a physical shelf somewhere, you only have a few independent stores in the village like Bleecker Bob's and Generation to choose from. (I'm not making the case that there is anything wrong or inferior about these stores, because i actually prefer them.)

This is the begininning of: The New, New, New, New, New York...

1. 1996: New New York--Larry Clark's "Kids" movie and Disneyfied Times Square

2. 2001: New New New York--9-11 and aftermath. Giuiliani's Mayoral tenure ends. Bloomberg's administration begins.

3. 2003-2008: New New New New York--Big gentrification psuh--econ bubble and eminent domain. Boxy-looking condos begin sprouting on every corner throughout BK and parts of Manhattan. End of Joe Torre's golden tenure as Yankee Manager

4. 2008-09-beyond: New New New New New York--Beginning of the end. Invincible chain retail outlets close. Serious questions loom with regard to the future of our economy.

After listening to my jaded outlook on the future of society and the continuing automation of humans and humanization of machines, Susan offered to buy me a drink over happy hour. We went to one of those St. Mark's Place, basement Japanese restaurants--trendy interior, friendly Japanese wait staff, deep cocktail menu. I ordered a tofu duck with ginger and a couple Sapporos. After ranting to poor Susan and her generous ear about how we live in a predatory society, i just couldn't bring myself to eat a real duck. Susan got calamari and shrimp appetizers with a couple cocktails. It was good.

I hope the restaurant which appeared to do a healthy amount of business on a Sunday night, is still here tomorrow.

When we finally returned to Susan's, we shared with her husband, Marco how astonished we were by all the vacant retail spaces. He said, "It's the beginning of 'The Big Suck.' "

BBC vs ABC on browser toolbar

By now, nearly 15 years and some 'change' after i watched the video version of The Manufacture of Consent, the world seems much different. Since then, the internet has proliferated. Our number of news sources has grown. The number of cable channels alone is probably 50 times bigger than it was back in 1994-95ish. We should be thankful for such a broadening of sources of news and information because it suggests the creation of a new outlet for voices previously unheard and uncounted. For those of us who still believe in democratic principles, this is good news!

But wait a second. Of the 300 or 700 cable channels that exist, how many are owned by Rupert Murdoch? How many are divied to Ted Turner? And the rest go to...Viacom, GE, Disney? Hmm...seems suspect.

I just shot an interview about six or so weeks ago with the editor of The Brooklyn Paper. This publication along with 11 or 12 of its other newspapers within 'The Brooklyn Paper' family have been sold to Rupert Murdoch. Brooklyn has one independent source remaining in the world of newspapers--The Brooklyn Eagle.

I just visited my Firefox web browser toolbar. Usually, i don't visit it. It just stares at me as it crowns the 'guts' of the browser and i do a marvelous job of ignoring it. But today, i decided to do something different. I decided to actually look at it and read it. Then i did something even more out of the ordinary--I visited it!

What did i find? I scrolled vertically through the BBC News 'Latest Headlines' tab and found 32 different articles focused on 32 different news topics. After that, i visited a neighbor a few tabs over on my Bookmarks Toolbar crown of the Firefox browser where i found the ABC News: Politics tab. Here, i scrolled down vertically, the same way i scrolled through the BBC News articles and i found 25 articles. Not as many as the BBC News offerings, but close enough that i didn't see any big deal worth being upset about. But upon slightly closer inspection, i noticed that almost every other headline had to do with Obama's latest Supreme Court nominee--Sotomayor. Everywhere down the list, Sotomayor, Sotomayor, Sotomayor. I counted 16 out of 25 headlines having something to do with Sotomayor and/or the Supreme Court.

I'm sure glad that 15 or so years after The Manufacture of Consent, when many Americans and people abroad have increased access to information via the internet and more cable channels, the mainstream, corporate media has decided to up its game! The market has clearly improved our selection breadth and our coverage by the media has broadened to enormous diversity commensurate with this proliferation of information sources.

And isn't it funny. Back in 1995-96, i recall having few conversations about this epidemic involving the monopoly of discourse by the mainstream media. Only the few intellectual elite had the topic on their radar and talked about it over dinner. The remaining hoi polloi paid not even two cents worth of their attention to this topic--it was too esoteric or abstract for them to care. Now, in 2009 the collective consciousness, including both the intellectual elite as well as common, average folk, are more savvy to the fact that our media is not living up to its responsibility to inform the public. Yet, our choices are more diluted and transparently focused on certain political agendas of the rulers of the world more now than ever before.

And people say i'm grumpy because 'that's just how he is...'

Blogfest BK 2009 was tonite

I shot Ethel meets Gutbucket this afternoon at BricLab.

Tonite i went with Megan, all 9 months pregnant of her, and Lauren who reported to Dumbo to attend 3rd annual blogfest. Robert Guskind "Gowanus Lounge" was remembered. Gotham spoke on a panel with some other people. Megan moderated. The dots are connecting--beginning to.

I asked Greg Sutton and Jonathan Leif today if i could start producing Caught in the Act. BITs arts show that features 3 field segments per show. That would be a dream gig for me--to shoot, edit, and produce entire segments for a hoppin and happenin art show for local Brooklyn TV. They said yes to the idea. I just don't see how i could be in a more appropriate spot.

Tonite i saw Frank Jump "Fading Ad Blog". By coincidence or not, i think i wrote him into a previous entry as well. He was at Blogfest and we spoke very briefly about Amsterdam. I gave him my business card. Have no idea if i'll hear from him. That would be far out if he could lead me to Amsterdam. He is definitely a smart man and seems like he could be a generous fellow.

They said at Blogfest to start blogging. So here i am. Entry 5.

Spiritual Math

Last Monday, i went on a shoot that had us following a carrier of HIV since 1984. Our interest in him was because of this and more primarily or secondarily, his creation of the http://www.fadingad.com/ blog.

This man was interesting in that he seemed to have all his spiritual ducks in a ruler straight line--a long relationship with his husband Vincenzo, a beautiful home near, or in East Flatbush, a brand new recreational vehicle which he and Vincenzo plan on taking on tour to Alaska and back next summer, a house in the Poconos, and his neice is Rosario Dawson. When he told me he experienced the lower east side in his party-prime in the early 1980s, I knew I was in the midst of a godhead. Not only did he know the reference of Klaus Nomi, he knew Klaus Nomi...whayat?!

...and he also does this blog thing called www.fadingad.com/blog.

What kind of threw me...you know, the curve ball, the boomerang, the arc climax, the ironic moment, okay okay, he said his father died at age 56 and that all the men in his family died young. Yet Frank had been HIV positive since 1984 and it's now 2009...i haven't met many HIV carriers to my knowledge or awareness, but we're talking 25 years of survival and full living!
Tis some spiritual math...spiritual math, indeed.